Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
