I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
