a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
