pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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