Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
We were destined to go to rehab together
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
