member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
