garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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