Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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