please come you make the beer taste better
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize