fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
