Whoa Z and x make the same sound
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize