oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
