he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
