yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
