i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
