Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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