My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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