Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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