I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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