Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
