it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
