She said her name was "party"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
