i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
