So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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