You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
