Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do vagina's smell?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize