Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
