We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
