she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize