I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize