Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
