Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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