Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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