you turned your livingroom into a bong?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
