Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
