I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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