Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
