so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
