about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize