i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
