i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
