remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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