i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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