You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
