And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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