Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
