I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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