East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
