I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
