My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
She said her name was "party"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
