i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
