Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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