So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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