Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
