we made out on top of his cat.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
