One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
