Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
