Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize