Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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