If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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