i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
